Loving & Serving Others (Rev. Tang) - Sermon Transcript

Would you join with me in an attitude of prayer?

O Lord, may the words of my mouth, the meditations of all of our hearts, be acceptable in your sight.

O Lord, our rock,

 and our Redeemer.

Amen.

I've been watching the television show, Shrinking.

Some of you are familiar.

It's the first season.

It's about a man named Jimmy, and he's not doing very well.

 Which is understandable because one year prior, his wife was killed in a car accident by a drunk driver.

And he's not doing well with it.

He's not dealing with what's happening within him.

And so he's responded by numbing

 alcohol, drugs, even work.

Anything to keep him from having to face what's going on inside of him.

And he can just keep on going.

And it works.

 for a little time, but not really.

Because once he looks up from that numbing, what he discovers is that he is not the only one who is grieving.

And that his behavior

 is not just making his life worse.

It's also affecting his daughter.

And so when he finally recognizes that after a year, he knows he's got to do something.

So he tries to pull himself out.

 lets go of the worst of his behaviors, tries to learn how to be a father again, get back into the normal cycles of life.

But you notice, as he's becoming more functional,

 He's not actually healing.

And the longer that time goes by and the further the gap gets, it becomes unsustainable.

And so it finally breaks.

 There's a day that was supposed to be a wonderful day.

A day that he had been curating to make a unforgettable moment.

But then a secret that he had been keeping within him, it gets revealed.

 perhaps the worst possible way.

And so late, late that night, there's a heartbreaking argument between him and his daughter.

And she says to him, way to ruin another birthday.

 So the next day, he's at work, and his mentor and his boss tells him a very simple and devastating truth.

The worst thing in the world happened to you

 and you never asked for help.

Do you know how Jimmy responds?

I'm good.

But he isn't good.

 And so, he does what he thinks he is good at, fixing other people.

Because as long as he fixes other people, he never has to face how broken inside that he is.

 So he goes out.

He's helping other people, trying to fix them.

And for a moment, it works.

He helps someone.

And he feels that warmth inside of him.

But it doesn't last as long as it used to.

 It fades quickly and you can see it on his face in that moment.

His mentor, Paul, had predicted this earlier.

He had said, this is your drug.

And it was no longer lasting.

 And so his story that he's telling himself begins to break.

The fix is not fixing.

He goes home and his daughter has chosen to stay the night at a friend's house.

And so his house

 is empty.

And the distractions are no longer distracting.

There's nothing left to keep between him and the truth.

And so he's confronted

 And he begins to spiral downward.

And we're wondering, what is he going to do?

How bad will this get?

And then he makes a phone call and he says,

 Hey, it's me.

And he sits down with someone who sees him, truly sees him.

And Jimmy says, perhaps the only honest thing he has said in a very long time,

 I'm not okay.

I want to jump back briefly to the middle of this story.

When Jimmy says, I'm good, it sounds like strength, doesn't it?

 but it's really resistance.

It's Jimmy trying to stay in control of his life.

And when Jesus kneels down in front of Peter,

 Peter says essentially the same thing to Jesus with just a little bit more honesty.

You will never wash my feet.

Three weeks ago,

 We heard about Jesus visiting Simon the Pharisee in his home.

And it was there that a woman took an alabaster jar of ointment and used it and her tears to wash the feet of Jesus.

And then she used her hair to dry his feet.

 And it was there that we talked about and learned that the washing of one's feet or washing someone's feet was not an option in the ancient Near East.

So when Simon the Pharisee did not offer to wash the feet of Jesus, he was saying, you are welcome here.

 and you are not honored here.

If we take that into this Sunday scripture, we find Jesus gathered with the disciples at the Last Supper, that moment that we remember at every communion.

Our scripture tells us that Jesus

 During dinner, he got up from the table.

He got a wash basin, wrapped himself with a towel.

He went to the disciples and washed their feet.

And when he gets to Peter, Peter says, you

 will never wash my feet.

At a quick look, it sounds like humility.

Peter is maintaining control.

 And then Jesus responds, if I do not wash your feet, you have no share with me.

And so then Peter responds, and I want you to listen closely to his words.

Peter responds, Lord, not my feet only,

 but also my hands and my head.

Does this sound like Peter is giving up control?

This

 Here we can ask, how is Peter still trying to manage the behavior of Jesus?

And that is my normal MO.

That's what I'm comfortable with.

I'm comfortable with being in control.

 I'm a doer.

I'm an actor.

I like to define myself.

I like to make decisions.

I want to be in control.

The problem here, though, is that by Peter maintaining his control, he is not entering

 into relationship with Jesus.

And that's why Jesus says, unless I wash you, you have no share with me.

This is not Jesus setting up a boundary against Peter.

 This is not Jesus offering a threat to Peter, nor is Jesus talking about cleanliness.

Jesus is expressing a truth to Peter about the nature of relationship.

 as long as we want to grip tightly our control, we cannot truly be in relationship.

And being in relationship means being vulnerable.

 This whole scripture is terribly vulnerable, isn't it?

Even reflecting about that we have this expression of the disciples exposing all of their feet.

There are many people who do not like to expose their feet, right?

 One reason is because it exposes our vulnerability.

When we expose our vulnerability, to be out of control means that somebody might see within us.

They might see our wants, our needs,

 our fears, how afraid we might be of being in control.

So it's so much easier to be the doer, to be the helper, to be the one who is acting.

It hides ourselves from other people.

 And Jesus reveals that.

As long as you're in control, you don't have a relationship with me.

I imagine this moment where Peter is there, sitting on his seat,

 Jesus kneeling in front of him, waiting silently as Peter struggles with everything within him.

And I would hope that this is the moment when Peter could say,

 I'm not okay.

The scripture tells us, Jesus continues, and he washes the disciples' feet, and then he turns back to all of them again and says, do you know what I have done for you?

 You call me teacher and Lord, for you are right, for that is what I am.

So if I, your Lord and teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet.

 It is so easy to misinterpret what Jesus is saying here.

Jesus is not saying to Peter, now go out and fix everybody else, right?

 This is not a commandment to go and control others.

Jesus is still trying to teach Peter what it means to receive love.

 My wife is one who teaches religious leaders how to be hospital chaplains.

And one of the most difficult lessons

 that especially Christian chaplains have in learning how to be a chaplain is how to sit with a non-Christian and be present in love without being able

 to control the outcome.

In what area of your life are you not able to fix that you could say that you could be present in love

 and not control the outcome.

Where in your life can you be present in love and not control the outcome?

 Amen.